I Think I'm In Love With You

Sunday, August 15, 2010

It's been a long time since I last put up an entry here. Has been very busy recently with my assistant away on maternity leave and getting into a relationship.

So many things happened during these few months. Colleagues come and go, old colleagues leaving the company for better offer which may not be as good, young boss admitting into hospital due to some infection thingy to his pulses, etc.

So many things happened in just a few months and I started to have negetive feeling against my relationship. I have no idea if I have made a right choice, a good choice. No doubt, my partner is a nice person in nature, however his temper and attitude towards some things might be uncontrollable at times. It may be his new job giving him too much stress, and in turn make his mood bad and hence throw his unhappiness and vexed feeling towards me. I can tolerate all the bad temper and stupid attitude he has towards me, but I can't take it when he didn't want to talk about the problem and be there showing black faces to me with one word answers whenever I talked to him. Another thing is he will vexed his anger at his driving - drive super fast and recklessly when he is in bad mood.

Suddenly I feel, I don't understand him enough, or rather he don't understand me enough. I don't like giving suggestion and making decision on places to go for meals, and he will keep asking me to make decision, which I don't do so he will feel pek chek again. He never apologise for bad temper to me before when he shouldn't.

I love freedom, and love going out with friends. Because of him, I didn't have time to accomapny my friends as I needs to accompany him and he will feel neglected if I don't accompany him. This has caused me not being able to meet my own friends as they feel awkward being with us. I feel I have less close friends already.

Not too sure if its demanding or because he wants to be with me longer, but I can't take it when I always have to go to his house (he doesn't like coming my house) and when I requested to go home, he will feel unhappy and give you that attitude face.

Maybe its a a sign of MCP (male chevalist pig) or SNAG (Singapore New Aged Guy). I don't like. I don't like MCP or SNAG. I like freedom and not being tied down.

I don't feel happy at all. I don't feel the love anymore, at least from my side. Think I've got problems in maintaining a good relationship.

Am I making a choice that is incorrect in the first place? Did I choose the wrong person? Is he the one that I can consider to be my future husband? What shall I do? Getting so stressed up. Argh~ I'm a problematic gal, and I think I seriously have a problem.

*Entry via My SmartPhone*

love goes around | 9:57 PM