Wednesday, July 26, 2006
ARGH... I'm so broke. Now then I realise the feeling of having not enough money to use. It's damn headache and stressed. Borrowing money from all over the place, it's not a good experience can tell you. Sigh. Thinking of my driving test coming Friday, I'm actually a bit scared. And some more Friday driving have to fork out about $150 to rental the car and my last lesson in the morning. Where to dig $150 out?? Shit man!!!
Congratulations Jacqueline on your passing of driving test. I know you could do it, coz you could do whatever things you wanted to, and always do it to the best. I'm so happy for you. Next will be my turn, will I be as lucky as all of them who got it once through?
Dare not give myself too high a hope, if not if anything happen, andI fail I'll be very sad. Sigh. Going to sleep soon as tomorrow I still have to work. Tomorrow will have to sleep early as I will be having my last driving lesson before my test at 6a.m. Super early man. Hope I won't be too tired as I am not used to waking up so early and sleeping so early.
Wish me luck but don't ask me my results for my test. Haha.
love goes around | 10:31 PM
Monday, July 24, 2006
I'm having mixed feelings now. Have no idea why I have such feeling now also.
This week, I'll be super broke. Why? Because I have to learn my driving, and this week I'll have to learn 3 times. Just have one this morning, and I'll be having my next lesson, so called my last lesson on Wednesday, before i go for my war ground. Friday will have to go for my last round of circuit early in the morning at 6a.m. How to wake up man!! With each lesson taking up 3 hours and circuit at $18, I'll have to pay $90 for a lesson when I'm learning driving together with circuit. By the end of the week, I'll have paid $232 already. Really hope I'll pass my practical. It's a damn waste of money.
Today was the first time I drive till 70km/hr when I'm still put on 'L' Plate. We was rushing to Ubi for the circuit at 10a.m. and I was late today for lesson. I only reach at 9.10a.m. and once I reached, I'm told to drive fast coz if not I'll be late for my circuit. So I have to drive very fast, and the first time I used up to gear 5. Haha. Was rather shiok. On my way back to Woodlands, I have already get used to the fast driving and I automatically drive very fast at 70 km/hr. Haha.
Was super tired today as I have to wake up unwillingly yesterday for band practice and sleep very very late at near to 4a.m. that very night as I was talking to Karen as she is feeling down wirh some problem in her family (not convenient to tell and am not going to tell even if you kill me). Glad that she is better today, and I really hope that I could help her, but I think I didn't. Sigh.
Hey Eileen, you are much much better than before, than the time I saw you at the MRT Station. back then, I was so so worried that you will collapse. Now, I'm relieved that you have got back on our feet and live on with your life. Suddenly, I felt there was some invisible wall between us, maybe it's because we have not meet up for so long and we tend to have no idea where we should start talking. Haha. I really hope we could go chill out together and talk craps together. Haha. Suddenly remembered, there was once during poly that we wanted to go Escape but it was closed and after that, we never been there. I really really hope we, as in our gang can go escape together and play like small kids. Haha. Can we?? Wahah.
Lastly, I don't know why I have such feeling that I have a gap with my darling also. I have no idea what happen, but there is this gap between us. Sigh. I hope we could be closer, and I hope our relationship can be made stronger. I don't want anything to happen to it, coz I really put all my heart and life into this relationship. Don't forget you said you are treating me to Souel Garden and movie. I'll remember it for life until you did it. Hee. Love Ya.
love goes around | 11:10 PM
Sunday, July 23, 2006
The gathering chalet was fun. The chalet was rather difficult to locate as it was at Changi and I never go to that part Singapore other than Airport, which is totally different. Haha. Reached the chalet at around 8.30p.m. and began eating and watch TV. Some were playing majong while I was watching them playing majong. Forget how to play majong already, and is really forget how to play loh. Sigh. Got to learn from skretch again.
After their game of majong, one of them is the loser, and they are to be splash with water from the shower in the bathroom by all the people and the others happily take pictures. It seems fun but I wasn't in the game, was only there laughing. Shortly after, we went outside to play with our water games. Played the "seaweed" game, body "black-white" match, and sicssors paper stone. Got splash with water a few times and also been thrown with water booms. Booms using ballon material is really very pain when it hits your body. Haha.
Drank with my friend after my shower at around 2a.m. and was like kept losing and I have to kept drinking. Grrr.... Martell on the Rock on the Plastic Cup on the Table. Haha. Wat 60% to 70% drank, luckily I'm not very high on that night. Haha. Chat chat with them till around 6a.m. before we went upstairs to sleep.
8a.m. was been make awaked by my friend sleeping on my right. Sigh. Then went downstairs to seat on the sofa. Slept there till around 10a.m. when the girls in the other room wake up and my turn to sleep on the bed came. Before long, 11.30a.m. hits and I have to wake up to take my shower before heading to school for band practice.
After band practice, we (darling, Xiu, May and me) went to Marina Square to do our late night shopping. Before that, we had some Hong Kong Ciusine at Marina Square. Left Marina Square at around 11p.m. Was quite shacked by the end of the shopping trip as I didn't sleep much and was like zombie walking along the shopping center. Haha. Didn't buy anything although most of the stores there was having Sales, and I wanted to buy a lot of things, but then sigh..... broked for the month. =(
Today wake up only at 12.30p.m. knowing I'll be late for band practice. Shit. After practice, I headed striaght home. Next week will be the performance already but, sigh the attendance was like not very previling. Hope that next week there will be more people, if not how to perform? Haiyo.
Tomorrow will be my driving lesson again in the morning at 9a.m. Early wor. Sigh, what to do, initially thought got work, but then not work cancel already, so after driving lesson, will have to go home sleep. Haha. 3 hour lesson tomor man, circuit loh. Nervous. Hope this time round my circuit is better than my last lesson's circuit. Scared scared. Practical Test coming.
Darling.. Miss You!!!!!!!
love goes around | 9:51 PM
Friday, July 21, 2006
Sitting on the sofa in the living room, I happen to watched Kids Central children show this afternoon when memories came flowing back again.
Still remember a year ago, when I was still a poly student in NYP, I have always had the chance to watch kids central in the bandroom every afternoon, or rather most of the afternoon. This afternoon, I saw Sesame Street on the TV and started to think back again. The show was still at the same time slot, and during that period of time, our bunch of band mates will be sitting in the bandroom gossiping, having our lunch and also playing games. The bandroom will be so noisy at that point of time, and of course fun time together too.
Don't know whether if I'm getting older or what, have always been very easily brought back to the past when I see things that I and friends have done or been through last time. Maybe I'm abit left in the past many would say, but sometimes I can't help it.
Later, I'll be going for my Poly Class gathering, have missed a few of it as I have always had urgent things like concerts and so on during that period of time when they have their class gathering. This time, I'm free with no concert and stuff, and finally I can get to go to the chalet that they have organised. Looked forward to it and I hope that the chalet is a wonderful and memoriable one. Hee. Will be staying over tonight and go to band straight tomorrow by noon.
I'll get going. If not I'll be very very late. Haven't even pack my bag. Hee.. Oppz....
love goes around | 4:43 PM
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Many things happened for the past one week or so. Been busy for the whole of last week. This week suprisingly, was rather slack.
Have been working after my exam on 8 July and also been handling some band matters. Had some relationship problems too. I feel that I'm at fault but again at the same time feel that I'm not wrong. I'm in delimma of what I'm doing. I have no idea if I'm a person who only know how to complain and complain, and never do anything to save the relationship and to prevent all the problems. Sigh. I really have no idea how long I can tolerate all this. I have been very stressed up with the Alumni Band's attendance problem, my own relationship problem, money problem, and my driving test problem.
This week, I don't have to go for work as there isn't a lot of projects for me to do, so I was asked to stop work for the time being. Therefore, I have begin to continue with my love diary about me and darling and hopefully soon I'll be able to let my darling know the URL and he can see and read it.
Saying so many about relationship problems and so, but I know for myself that I really love my darling very much, and I know if there is one day that we really ended up breaking, I know I'll be very very sad and down. I believe that I will lost all interest in everything. But sometimes, in ways of anger, I'll start saying things that I didn't want to say, and i shouldn't have said. But all that are just implusive.
Every female needs love, no mater love from parents or love from boyfriend or friends, or ratehr every human needs that. Sometimes, when you can't feel the love, you'll fine yourself very hopeless, and of course helpless. All I need is some notice and some care that's all. I don't demand anything, and I'm not materialistic. All I need is the feeling of being loved. Maybe because at home, I'm always not being loved? I always feel that my parent love my brother more than me, but I understand I shouldn't think this way. Sometimes, I'm forced to think that way.
Anyway, I really hope that my relationship is a relationship that can take all levels of difficulties and continue to fight all barriers together. I'm trying to understand you, darling and putting myself in your shoes, could you understand me more and put yourself in my shoe??
Next week will be a week of nervousness. Why? Coz finally it's my turn to take my practical driving test. I have no idea if i will pass for the first time or not. Don't want to give myself to much hope, telling myself that I'll pass for the first time, but I hope I can pass for the first time as learning driving is really a killer, money sucker. I have lost interest in learning driving already, getting a bit sick of it. *Praying*, please let me pass my practical test, please!!!
next week will also be the start of my next module, Research Methodology. Sigh, lecturer seems to be rather strict, but i hope I'm wrong. First day of the lesson and I'll be late, due to my driving test clashes with my lesson. Shit man.
Tomorrow will be going for my class chalet at Changi (ulu place) haha. Can wait for that day. Although not everyone can be present for the chalet, but I really look forward to see all my poly friends, since I really miss them so much.
And I also hope to see my darling soon too. Have not been seeing him for two week already. Been missing him.
love goes around | 4:29 PM
Saturday, July 08, 2006
My mouth, or rather my lips is still calling in vain. I know it's in the process of recovering but how long will it take? Two days, five days, a week more? Can't imagine that. Everytime I have my meals, i have to till by head to the left in order not to hurt my ulcer. Sickening man. Sometimes I really feel like not eating as it's so troublesome.
Had my first degree paper today and the paper was super long. First time I have to answer a total of 17 questions, with 14 compulsory and 3 to choose out of 7 questions in section B. Every question have to be answered in essay formed, and most of them have to goes together with explaination, discussion and even digrams. Three hours of the paper is simply not enough to scribble all the information down. By the end of the paper, my hand is like stiff as I have write non-stop for the whole three hours. Now I know the style of the american university paper, I have to adapt to it soon. My next module exam will be during September, with 50 MCQ and a few essay questions. Hope the essay questions will not be too difficult.
After my paper and submitting my assignment, I went down to NYP for the Alumni Band practice. I was rather pissed off with all the members. I don't understand why people like to be late. Somemore, it's like everyone is getting later and later than each other. It seems like they are competing who is the latest. Gosh~ The one who will be scolded and nagged will not be you members, it's me. And do you have the cheek to let a conductor, in this case Laoshi to wait for you to come and then start, or rather you wait for Laoshi to come, before that warm up and practice parts that you are no sure and have no cofidence in?? I believe punctuality is a factor that everyone should practice. It's really not nice to make someone conducting wait for the band. It's not fair to the person, and also not fair to people who reach early. Please be more considerate.
Tomorrow will have band practice in the morning at 10a.m. again, let's see how many members will be late tomorrow. I can foresee other than me and Salleh, all will be late, I can bet.
Just came back from shopping at Marina Square. Initially decided to watch soccer but I'm now superb tired. I think I'll give it a miss for the first half, maybe I I'm able to wake up, I'll watch the second half. All the best Portugal, Support you all the way!!! Italy, Go! Go! Go!
Time to ZZzzZZzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzz...............
love goes around | 11:45 PM
Friday, July 07, 2006
Pain is all I could say for this few days. Had such a bad ulcer just centimeters away from each other, I can hardly eat. It's unbearable. Very pain sia. Argh. Ouch.
Tomorrow will be my paper for my first degree module - Advanced News Gathering & Writing. Hmm.. Feeling now is rather excited though, with some nervousness as I have no idea how the question will be like. Lecturer didn't say much about how the question looks like. All she did was to say as long as you came for lessons, you'll not be afraid of failing the paper as the content will be somewhat similar to that of what we did in class. I hope what she say was all true. Actually, didn't really study much for the exam, what a daring move I have made for my first degree paper. I know I cannot fail this paper as the remodule fee for degree is super expensive, and I have to wait for a semester before I could remodule. Certainly, I won't want to fail and remodule, for fun. but I must score at least a C grade for all my degree paper in order to get my dgree in two years time, and thier C grade means scoring 70-79 marks over a hundred. Their passing mark is 60, and not the normal 50 we have normally in Singapore. Strict huh? Sigh, what to do, who ask me to choose this course, which I have to aim high to get the good grades.
Got back my Graduation Project Grade for my Advanced Diploma course, and I was rather happy to see myself getting an A for the GP. Though it's rather expected as I was told the project supervisor is a super nice person and mostly he will give A to his student. But whatever it is, it's still the work that allow him to give an A to the particular person. If someone did their work very vastly, I believe the teacher won't even have a chance to give the person a B grade, no going to say A.
My philisophy, whatever should be done, I'll do it to the best I can, so that will not give people a chance to fail me or to tackle me with bad comments.
Well, gotta get back to my notes again before I really fail. Ouch** touched my ulcer again. Pain Pain.. :'(
love goes around | 6:23 PM
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Young Musician's Society presents a Clarinet Chior on July 27, 2006, Thursday at YMS Auditorium. They will be playing Redetsky March, Introduction & Rondo, Sinfoniette in B-flat, Italian in Algiers, Funeral March of a Marionette, Swan Lake, and Salatarello. The concert starts at 8.01pm. Haha, Strange time right?? Anyway, tickets are rather over priced at $12, but I believe it's worth it as the player there are mostly well know clarinet players.
Tickets in need, you may tag on my tagboard the number of tickets needed and your email address. Haha. It's a performance that shouldn't be missed..
love goes around | 11:33 PM
Waiting for World Cup at 3a.m. Nothing to do now, so came in and blog. Went to meet up with Eric (NTU Alumni Band President) and discuss about the concert matters. After the meet up at TCC (CityLink), we headed to Laoshi's house to discuss it with laoshi.
Laoshi feels that December will be a good time for the concert as both side of the band will have enough time to scout for members and also practice for the pieces. Concert will most probably be on the 16 Dec, Saturday. This time rough, we can make up something grand. But before the band could make up something grand, I believe that each section have to do their part, and each section I/C have to do their own part too in organising sectionals and clarify all the doubts and faults that they have for all the pieces. No point waste time in combine band, which tires laoshi as well as the members themselves, with sections playing wrong notes and wrong rytheme.
I really hope that it's a goal that each members will move towards together, and not slacken themselves as the concert is far down the road. Before you know it, the concert is here and before you know it, it's time to be on stage and present the music to the audience. Are you all prepared by then, that each section have to show and prove.
Finished my Project Assignment today, finally.... Edit the whole thing, spotting for errors as well as grammar and phrasing. Even typed out the lectures notes that I have written down from all the lectures I've been through. While typing, I realise I have forget almost half of the things. Gosh!! I have to read through the textbook tomorrow before I flunk my paper on Saturday.
Damned.. Had two ulcer on my mouth, less than 3cm away from each other. It's super pain now. How am I going to play my instrument on Saturday?? How am I going to eat?? Poor me.. Down with flu and cough, and now two ulcer on my bottom lip which is less than 5cm away from each other. Argh..........
love goes around | 2:23 AM
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Finally finished my project which is to be submitted by this Saturday. I still have to check for Print Style for the report, which take up a fair part of the whole assignment grade.
Tomorrow will have my driving lesson at 11.30am again. Suddenly feel like ending the driving lesson, don't know whether is it because of the phobia of taking the practical test or what, just a sudden fear in driving. Sigh.
After driving, I'll have to go to the library to return the books. Got to look for a book that is needed for my next module, no idea if I'm able to find it or not. Hmm.. Will not be home till late tomorrow I guess as I have to go for a discussion with NTU Alumni Band President to discuss about some concert matters at CityLink. So if I travel home and go out again, it will be very troublesome and costly too. Therefore, I think I'll bring my laptop with me so I can use it.
Won't be catching soccer tonight as I'll need some sleep for my driving lesson tomorrow. Will catch tomorrow, Portugal vs. France. I hope Portugal will win. Haha. Well, still deciding whether to bet for that game or not. It's like very risky. Hmmmm.. Got to think twice.
From Thursday until Friday night, I'll have to hide under my lecture notes and books to revise for my exam on Saturday morning.
Have to sleep early, having a flu and slight cough. All this happen mainly because I have been to tough on myself and stress myself too much and didn't take good care of myself. Please, people who read this blog, take good care of yourself, weather not good nowadays.
love goes around | 12:33 AM
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Hardly have enough time for myself this few weeks, and I believe fot the next few wekks, it will be the same. I have too many thing to settled and everything just come right at about the same time.
First is my assignment which I need to rush and finish it off as I have to submit it by coming Sat and I have yet to finish even half of it. Shit!! Have to rush, rush, rush... After rushing for assignment, I have to revise for my exam, which falls on the same day which I have to submit my assignment. I haven't even touch my lecture notes man. Shit again!!!
Next is work. I need to work coz I have to earn for my own income, my own allowance in order to lighten my parent's burden, which I hardly have enough to use every month. Got to stop work for a week as I need to revise my work. Maybe I'll return back to work after that.
Other than that, I still have to go for my practical driving lessons, which I have to go every week since my test date is drawing near. I want to pass the test once and for all. Don't want to waste money to retake the test again. It's too costly and troublesome.
Next big big problem is the Alumni Band. I understand that our Committee are all very enthusiasitic, and whould like to have a personal concert for the band, but are we prepared enough to have it all to ourselves now?? How prepared are we? How many members do we exactly have now?? How many are committed and are willing to throw away all entertainments and come for practice every week?? Who will be as committeed as I am, which I have no much choice as I am the President.
Sometimes, I really feel very tired of all these type of life I'm having. I hardly have my very own entertainment time. Even when I'm out with friends, I'll have to discuss things about the band, if not that will be my brain full of tonnes and tonnes of brainstorming for the band.
I really really entering into depression very soon. My brain's storage capacity have reached it's limit. Now, everytime I start thinking about band matters, my head starts to spin and I'll get rather irritated.
Falling sick again very soon. Now having flu and cough already, I believe very soon I'll have fever attacking my weak and drain out body, which I have far predicted I will walk into this stage. I'm really feeling very very tired. Too tired till my brain is not working well.
love goes around | 11:11 PM
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Recently I get very sentimental, no idea why also. I will think back to older days, the past when I was still a happy person, enjoying life. No idea whether it's due to the stress I'm having now or because I'm really missing all my poly friends.
Everytime I see bunch of kids going to shopping centres to shop and play, or even a bunch of JC stidents walking pass me, I'll start to feel rather sad. It make me think back to the days I have spent with all my poly friends.
I would say Polytechnic life is the most memoriable, most unforgettable and the one that that miss most. I do admit that I did change a lot between me in secondary school and me in polytechnic. I could say when I was in Polytechnic, I learn a lot of things from a lot of people, be it good or bad.
I'm so glad that I went into the Marketing diploma course, and know a bunch of fun loving friends in MK104. I love my class of 104. It's the best class I have ever been in. The people there are so bonded and the class was so fun. So sad that we have to split class during Year 2, which causes us to see and meet each other less.
But nevertheless, we still meet each other rather often in campus. We will still seat around at McDonald or Food Junction and chat and talk loudly like nobody business. We will go lectures together, skip lectures together. Borrow each other's work to copy. It's so fun.
I really really miss my poly bunch of friends a lot a lot. How I wish my poly life won't just end so soon. Three years seems to be long, but it's just a blink and we are graduated. We have to split our ways and walk our individual route towards our goals. But I never forget this people who once am so improtant to me, who once are the people I clinch to when I needed to. They are Eileen, Jesslyn, BaoZhen, Jodi, Elvin, etc. The named one are the people whom I misses most, but those who I didn't name, I miss you all similarly much too.
Suddenly I came to learn of cherishing friends when you can, and when they are around you. If not, when everyone went their seperate ways, meeting out together like before we we are still studying are not as simple. If you are the person whom I have spent my time with in Poly, I got to thank you for being my friend and help me when I needed. You all are the best. Miss you all a lot and love you all a lot. Hope to see all of you very soon.
love goes around | 11:24 PM
