I Think I'm In Love With You

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Had a long long week, a busy week I could say. I am filled up to the brim with all the task from work, as well as my assignment for my Research Methodology module. I am getting rather tired and drained out soon.

Working at Raffles Place, MayBank Tower, on the 22nd Floor (FR8 Singapore Pte Ltd). The view there is superb. If I were there working earlier, I would have been at the best position to view the Fireworks. No blockage, nothing, only blue sky and skyscape. Cool~

Know a few fun-loving colleagues from the temp job there. They are a bunch of crazy, and insane people who never fails to make me laugh all the way from the beginning of the day to the end of the day. Without them, my temp job will definately be boring. Nice knowing them though. Hee.

Darling had made some cookies for me on Saturday, and it tasted very nice and delicious. Never knew that he could bake that well, being it as his first attempt I guess. Met him on Wednesday again, which is yesterday and he made another thing for me to eat again. This time round is sweets. I had some and it's a Mango flavoured sweets. Nice though, other than it being too sweet. Gave me so much, want me to have diabeties arh?? Haha. But that was sweet of him lah, making food and snacks for me to eat.

Went to Marina Square with him and brought him to the BAB Noodles at Millenia Walk to taste the food there. Food there is priced reasonably, somemore good service without service charge. After that went to Candy Empire and back to Marina Square, where darling went to Giant to get some chicken meat for his cooking the next day.

He had a 3 days leave, and I only get to see him for one day. My friend know that he had leave, but I only manage to see him once, said that the leave he took was not planned properly, and feel that he should plan things before hand. Sigh.

He say if he is still in army, he will take leave when his girlfriend is having leave so that they will have more time together. But I doubt darling ever wants to spend more time with me. No idea why, nowadays I felt so wired going around with him. It's like we are having less and less things to talk about, and also nothing much for us to do together. Even if we go out, we only went for dinner and that's all. I do feel like shopping but he never ever asked or suggest to go shop around before going home. Sigh. I have no idea is it could I have been tired about the relationship or what, but I have no doubt in my feelings for him, it's just that I need something that could like make me excited and happy. Realised that I hardly get happy nowadays. What happed?? I have no idea too.

Probably having mood swing recently too. Getting too depressed and stressed out with my stuff and my work. Seeing my colleague meeting her boyfriend every day for lunch, made me so envy. Seeing my guy colleague being togther with his girlfriend for 8 years and planning to get marry, make me so jealous also. Why can others be so romantic, and hold on to a relationship like that which I can't. What exactly happen to our relationship, or rather, is there something happening to me?? I think I am the major problem, not him. I feel that I am really aiming for a guy who really can love me, concern about me and dote on me all the time. I need the feel of love, and not status. Maybe I'm moving into a stablized point where I am serious with everything. I just need someone who understands me.

Getting crazy man!! think I'll get going to turn in. Before I cry to sleep again. Argh!! Take care guys.

love goes around | 12:40 AM

Thursday, August 24, 2006

The answer to the previous entry's Thesis is now out!! Here comes the answer...

Recap of the question is:

If I am to be in your wallet/purse, what will I be? Is it:

a) Identification Card
b) Money
c) Credit Card
d) Pictures
e) Coins
f) Calling Card/ Phone Card
g) Letter

Now here's the answer!!!

a) "Identification Card" refers to "Important Person"
b) "Money" refers to "Best Friend"
c) "Credit Card" refers to "Family"
d) "Picture" refers to "Love"
e) "Coins" refers to "Crush"
f) "Calling Card/ Phone Card" refers to "Text mate"
g) "Letter" refers to "Special Someone"

How true is that to your opinion to me?? Haha. Just for fun, don't take it too seriously, yeah!!!

love goes around | 1:07 AM

Just some small little thesis. Do think through and tag your answer onto the tagboard. Haha. It'll be fun!!!

It goes like this:

If I am to be in your wallet/purse, what will I be?? Is it:

a) Identification Card
b) Money
c) Credit Card
d) Pictures
e) Coins
f) Calling Card/ Phone Card
g) Letter

Make a wild guess and see if it the outcome of the answer really mean what you think of me. Answers will be out some time later. Have Have fun guessing, and remember to tag your answer onto the tagboard.

Flood the Tagboard and keep it Alive!!!

love goes around | 1:02 AM

Monday, August 21, 2006

After some time, finally I have recovered from my mood swing and my mixed feeling. First of all, thanks to all who have show their concern to me, asking me if I'm alright and if I'm okay, thanks folks, you rocks.

After experiencing all these, I realise that sometimes, when a person who have mood swing and mix feeling, they should sit down and think through, is it worth having that they of unhappiness. I did, and I told myself, why should I be so bothered by all the things that happen when someone don't even bother that much. When should I be the one getting upset and making myself unhappy alone here when someone might be out there happily gathering with their friends and stuff. I know I a person who can get over things fast, but also put the thoughts in my mind for a long time. I'll remember bad things, unhappy memories for sometime before I forget. I know I shouldn't be practicing that. Well, I am trying to change it already, since being alive in this universe, we should stay happy as we won't know what will happen tomorrow. Who knows if I could wake up the next morning after I turn in tonight. Everything are so unexpected, it's life, nothing can be predicted.

Alright, enough of all those big philosophy of mine, let's move to the weekend that just pasted.

Wow, I had a wonderful and happening weekend I should say. The first time I step into Ministry of Sound (MOS) and that place was nice, but a bit too noisy, a bit too smoky and a bit too crowdy for a person like me. Well, should I say I seldom club, and I should say it's the first time I really club, as I'm a pubber (I pub and drink, and not club and dance, haha). Went in there, and well, got influenced and dance a bit, Alright I'm not used to dancing while clubbing, so spare me k?? But after that night, I find that I can actually move my body to the music more. Initally I don't dance if I do go clubbing, just not used to it.

Having my chance to step into MOS, I can conclude that I prefer Dbl O more. Haha. Or rather, I prefer pubbing more. But that doesn't mean that I will not go clubbing, if the people who asked me to go clubbing with are people whom I'm comfortable with, I won't mine. Haha.

Today, I went for a swim after so long not going for a swim. I actually swam a few lapse (est. 5-6 lapse), which I seldom do so previously. Now I understand why people who rather swim "Frog Style" rather than "Free Style", because "Frog Style" doesn't use up so much stregth as compared to "Free Style". Cool. I'll go for swim more often, but I hate getting tan due to the UV Rays. Yuckz. Should buy some sunblock to prevent myself from getting dark. Seeing myself having two colours, I can cry, which I nearly did so when I saw my two tones on my body today. Haha.

Currently, I'm having my study break, as well as my vacation. Will have it all the way until 6 Oct 06. Have been looking for temporary jobs to earn some money as well as kick some of my free time, which normally I'll do nothing at home. Well, i'm a workaholic, therefore I will never complain about working, even if it's long hours (only if I enjoy my work of course). Have send some resume out today too, hopefully I'll get some good news from them tomorrow so that I am able to commence work soon and earn big money. Muhahah.

Alright, time to proceed on to my assignments, before I have not enough time to do again. Haha. Update all of you again.

love goes around | 12:00 AM

Thursday, August 17, 2006

This few days, I felt that I'm having mood swing. I have no idea why. I seldom have this type of feeling, and of course, sledom have mood swing, but don't know why, this few weeks I'm feeling very vexed, very unhappy, very upset. Am I in the midst of getting into a depression? Oh god, hope I'm not.

I think I'm feeling a sense of insercurity. I really don't know why. I don't know if I am having a higher expectation or is just because I felt a sense of feeling neglected. All I need is some love and concern from someone I endure, and someone I cherish. I only hope that my love and concern for him will have some return for me.

Am I really not good enough?? Am I really very demanding?? Am I really so irritating?? Am I really so petty?? Am I? Am I? Am I? I have so many questions and doubts floating in my mind, awaiting for someone to assure me with an answer that will give me some assurance.

I really love you darling, but why are you always so cold towards me?? I have done all I can for you, and I really tried my very best to change myself just for you. All I ask for is just for you to be a bit better to me?? To return my message to me so that I won't be so worried and think wild. Is it so difficult?

I'm really very tired about all this. Can I don't be the one who is always initiating and planning all the outings and meetings?? Can I don't always be the one who do the messaging?? Can you sometimes do something first before me??

I'm really going crazy very soon. I think I'm really falling too deep into the relationship. I really feel very uneasy without him around me. I didn't want to rely so much on him, but I can't control myself. I really can't.

Argh!!! Why am I so useless?? I was such an independent girl before,I can live without anyone around me and yet I can't oo anything now. Where is that independent girl gone to??

love goes around | 8:08 PM

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

love goes around | 7:04 PM

Monday, August 14, 2006

I dun understand why some people just don't learn from mistake(s). Already know it's something not to be made again but still, continues to make the mistakes. Why can't this people just learn from mistakes they made and learn the lesson from it.

I'm getting rather pissed with this someone, don't think I'll state who is this person (for those who know will know), let's name this person 'A'. 'A' knows that he have and he had made the mistakes, and this mistakes have been make over and over again, but why? Why didn't he just try harder to learn from the mistakes. All I need is some response when it's needed, at least I'll feel better getting notice and getting assured. 'A' knows that I hate it when I sms him and I have told him a lot of times that I didn't like it when I sms and no reply is given to me, it just make me feel like I'm a fool. It's repeated today again, and I told him if he didn't want to meet me, he can just tell me he doesn't want to meet me, or say next time, but why ignore my sms and just treat it as nothing had happen?

The last time was also the same. Asked if he would want to meet up and told him to plan something to do as I have always been doing the planning all this while. After a long time, he didn't even reply or sms me, even when he didn't know where to go. I was super angry and was boiling when I heard that. I should be angry with him, and I did and therefore when I met him the next day, I didn't talk much while shopping together with him, to show my unhappiness. But ismy blood rises when he said he wanted to go home and just left me at Bugis and when home. How can a guy just leave a girl alone at a shopping centre and return home without even making sure she is alright. Well, for that, I might be a bit petty as I brought forward the anger from previous day to that day itself, so I apologised and forgive him, giving him another chance. But yet again, the same mistake was made and it's really very heart torning to have someone treating myself like that.

What should I do. I have always cherish him so much, why can't he just give me some little respect and cherish me as much as I cherish him. I really doesn't want our relationship to turn sour just because of these incident but these incident have already make me feel very tired and upset. What should I do??

love goes around | 1:01 AM

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Finally got some time to update my blog. It's been like two weeks since I update it. Well, let's see what I shall write for this entry. Hmm.. Well, guess I have to summary about the past two weeks, as far as possible (memories nowadays ain't very good).

Well, as expected about my practical driving results, I didn't make it. Haha. Was too daring while driving, fail to give way and check mirrors which ended me to have to take the practical test again. Well, I have confidence that I'll pass the next time round. Haha. Chose the 11.45pm slot for the practical test, and it's on 31st Oct. Will revise again near Oct, but I think I'll start having a lesson with Mr. Yap once a month this month and next month, to prevent myself from forgetting.

Next will be the Newton Hawker Centre Performance on two Sundays ago. Reached NYP Bandroom at 1.15pm and started doing some stock taking and shifting of instruments. After that, I took Ivan's car to Carinhill CC for thr rehearsal from 3pm to 6pm before we migrate ourselves to Newton Hawker Centre opposite the CC. It was a wonderful performance (thought the space is super small). Applause was heard after every pieces played, and it was rather encouraging. After ending the performance, we move our instruments onto the lorry and proceeded with our Dinner, which was FOC. Haha. Cool ya~~ After a while of eating and chatting, we procceded back to NYP to help shift the instruments. We was only able to make our way back home at around 10pm. But we earn ourselves some funds for the band. Haha. NOw the band fund should have some money already.

The Saturday that just past was our Alumni Band practice. Practice some pieces and it was quite nicely played I assumed as I have people from NTU Alumni Band to help. Other than the missing flute section, everything was fine. After the practice, I packed all the scores and leave the bandroom only after 6pm.

Went to City Hall to look for places to eat as all of us are starving. Sadly, all restaurant are packed with humans, inside and outside. Initially wanted to have Pizza, but queue was like 2 meters long. Proceeded to someother restaurant at Marina Square but to no hope, no one restaurant is able to have sets for us.

So we continue to walk, and ended out foot at Millenia Walk. Saw one Korean Restaurant there and the price of the food was rather reasonable, so he hop in and set out butt on the chair and hide our faces behind the menu. Without long, we decided on what we wanted to eat and start stuffing them into our mouth once the food arrived on the table. Food there were nice, and the serving (especially for noodles) were really big and filling, with a lot of meat in it. I can't finish my Kimchi Spicy Noodle Set. Wasted. What's more, no service charge for all the services, cool right?? Serve the food right to your table and refilling your drinks with charging any service charge. Marvellous. The shop is worth patronizing in future.

Went to watch fireworks straightly after that. And I can tell you, the fireworks by Italy was beautiful. So grand and some are new too. I think you should go and watch the fireworks for the next three days, on 8, 11 and 12 August respectively. I bet it will be wonderfully nice too.

Today's my last day of my module with my faculty lecturer, and I'll have break from today until Sun before I start my tutorial on Monday again. So many days off, so happy!!! Got back my individual folder outline from teacher and was glad that I got ++. Phew~ I thought I'll be out of point. Now I'll have to muggled with my individual project as well as my group assignment. After which, will have to study and read through the whole textbook again for exams. Kind of a scary module this is as I don't really understand the module. Sigh.

Fireworks later, but before Fireworks, will meet my fellow friends for dinner first. Now, I'll start writing on my group assignments. Take care while I update again, which I don't know when I will. Ha~

love goes around | 3:37 PM