Monday, May 29, 2006
There's no school for me today and I woke up only at 12.30p.m. Haha. Played a few games of O2Jam last night with Xiuhui and Bryan as we didn't play for quite long already.
Progressing with my own relationship blog, but still have a long way to go. I'll still half way through my first book. I have 3 books to type. Haha. I still learning how 2 put in the password field for my blog to prevent intruders, but I failed to do so as I didn't know how to use the code. got to seek for help from Andy Koh already.
After finishing this blog, will have to prepare myself for work at Toa Payoh HDB Hub as a Telemarketeer. It's my first day of job. Was rather nervous. I always didn't like to go working at new environment. Will find myself very far away from the people in the company, that's always the case.
I hope that the job will not be a tough one and hope that it will be fun and the 3 hours will be a fast one. And also, hope that the pay is good. Haha.
Heard about so many internal problems between the main band and the alumni band, and I really hope that it will be resolved very soon. I really hate conflict and I I hate even more when people tries to put words into my mouth. No one should drive away my players in my Alumni Band. Finally, I'll be back to Alumni Band next week. So happy.
I'll get going. update you people about the job again. Bye.
love goes around | 5:20 PM
Friday, May 26, 2006
Finally got the time to sit in front of the computer to type my blog properly. The last blog that I've entered have some typo errors due to my fast typing as my laptop is running low on it's battery. But this time round, I'm using desktop, so not afraid that the battery will run low again.
Anyway, time really flies. Today is my second last day of my Advanced News Gathering and Writing Module already. I have been studying that module for nearing two weeks everyday. But I'm lucky to say that my lecturer is a super nice teacher/professor. She is kind, caring, friendly and most of all passionate in teaching her students. With her guiding us through, the lessons with her are never boring.
As she is the director of Mass Communication ins Oklahoma City University, she have all the schedules for our classes from now till we graduate. From the knowledge she gave us about the US Residency Programme, I believe that my three modules studied there will sure be too short for me. It's seems to far, yet so near, I'll be going over to the U.S. next December and it will be Winter there. Cool~ I was told that there will be occasional snow there and it's Christmas. Haha. It seems so fun and I can wait to go there, and one day we will go to Professor Karlie's House too. Yeah~
It was the first time I got praises from lecturers that my work is fantastic. Now I experience it, and I dislike being praised. Haha. Stranged right, but I don't like. It's kind of blushing all over my face when everyone in the class go "wow" and start looking at you. You'll just feel that your face wil turn as red as the apples on the trees.
Went for SAF Band's Concert on Wednesday despite being sick. Wasn't feeling that good with my whole body aching like hell for the whole day. But I still drag myself to the concert. I was shocked to see Dale(my uni classmate) there too. Only then I know that he is from SAF Band when he was in army. He is a trombone player and also plays the Euphonium. I can ask him to help play for my Alumni Band if I need people already, since he is still playing, although is at Braddell Heights Orchestra, which personally doesn'treally have any good feelings for that Orchestra. The whole concert was loud. I just feel that the concert doen't really have dynamics. It's either mf or f or ff, I didn't really hear soft parts. But I like the tenor saxophone's solo, he can run through the notes clearly super fast. Admire him man.
Went home shortly after the concert as I really can't take it already. Reached home and the first thing I do is, take my body temperature. To my horrid, my body temperature for that night was 39 degrees celcius. My gosh, I can actually stay at this temperature for the whole day without knowing that I'm having a high fever. Unbearable, I bath myself with hot water (as I'm super cold) and after that had two tablets of panadol and turn in.
Before I turn in, I asked darling to help me to go meet the supplier the day after as i'm afraid that I'm not well enough to go meet the supplier. I tell him everything and before I sleep, I told him that if I feel better, I'll go meet the supplier myself.
The next day, I'm much much better. No more aches all over my body and I can walk properly. The only thing I feel is hungry, as I didn't eat anything except morning noodles, which is not a lot as I'm not feeling well from then on. Went all the way to Suntec City to meet the supplier at 10am. After that, surf net in Mcdonald until 1 p.m. and headed to school for lessons.
After lesson, I went to town to meet Xiuhui and Karen for KTV session. Buddy Jun Hong said he isn't in the mood to sing, so he didn't join us. We went to KBox as it was Thursday and it's Ladies Nite. We went in at 7pm and sang till 11.30pm for the price of $12. Haha. It was a day of oldies as we sang a lot of old songs.
Today, I went to school and when I just step out of the fare gate, I saw someone familiar. Don't think it was my darling, it will never be him. Haha. It was my buddy, Jun Hong. It was such a coincidence that I saw him there, at Queenstown. He was there to do his CIP at a church nearby. Chat with him a while and rush to school as I'm pretty late. When I was reaching school taking the shuttle bus, I saw another familiar face, and that was buddy's friend, Fiyonne. I didn't know she was a paramedic until I saw her coming out from the ambulance in the uniform. Singapore is really very small.
good news!!! I got a new job for myself. It's a telemarketeer job with a Real Estate Company - PropNex. I will start work on Monday from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. After this week of telemarketeer training, from next week on, I'll work for 6 hours each day in the day time to understand better about their Real Estate thingy. Hope it will be an interesting job and the pay will be good. Haha.
I'll stop here, typed a lot already. Early in the morning tomorrow at 8.30 a.m., I will have my driving lesson. I believe I will be half dead at that time again. After 2 week of not learning driving, I hope have not forget how to driving. Haha.
take care peez... Drink more water and don't get sick...
love goes around | 12:24 AM
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Hi everyone.. Long time didn't reallt blog here. Was busy with my work and was sick yesterday. Sigh, high fever till 39 degree celcius. But today feeling much better, though still have slight fever at 37.7 degrees this morning.
Now, I'm at Suntec Mcdonald using their wireless as I meet up with the supplier for the dry fit tshirt at 10am. I starting my lesson at 2pm you see, that's why I using my laptop here.
But now, laptop battery is at critical stage, will shut down anytime, haha. And I have so much to say, but.... sigh.. continue again.
Bye.
love goes around | 1:24 PM
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Missed the Alumni Band practice yesterday due to my lesson from 2pm to 5.30pm, which directly clashes with the Alumni Band practice. Sigh. Felt rather sad that I can't go for the practice. Though I'm not there in person, but my soul is all the time there. Checked the time all the while, as well as the phone to ensure that nothing is cork up.
I know the attendance is still not very good for that practice but I'll try to make the attendance better in future. Sad to say again, I won't be there for practice for the coming Saturday too due to my lesson again. Sigh. How I wish I could skip the lesson to go for the practice, which I can't coz I have to fulfill 90% attendance if not I'll be debarred for exam.
Was rather glad that there isn't much trouble in the Alumni Band. I believe that too coz I always trust the Alumni to be mature adults. So please do give me any problems and accommodate to whatever that is to be accommodated. Reminder: ALL ALUMNI MEMBERS ARE NOT TO BORROW ANY INSTRUMENTS HOME WITHOUT THE CONSENT OF THE MAIN BAND'S QM.
After my lesson, went to my grandpa house for a while before I headed to Orchard to look for our after practice gang (Xiuhui, Karen, Bryan). Had Yoshinoya for dinner and walked around in Orchard. The road of Orchard was packed with humans due to the "Great Singapore Sale" I guess. We pop by Cineleisure and shop around. Stayed in "More than Words" for quite some time looking at soft toys -__-'''. Haha. Who say adults can't look at soft toys? Oppx, I think the only adult there is me. =(
Walked to Dohby Ghaut as usual after that. With Karen saying that she is thirsty, I suggested drinking a cup at either Starbucks (which I mistaken with Coffee Bean) or TCC. In the end, we landed our butt at TCC and stayed there chit chatting until 11.30pm, without me realising. Talk about the matter that has arised in alumni band and the main band also. Took pictures also and much laughter were sounded.
Reached home at about 12.20am, and quietly walked to my room, to prevent awaking my mum up, which I'll get scolded for reaching home late. Bath a while after resting on the living room couch. Watch channel U Taiwan TV Series until 2.30am, which I doze off for a while in between.
Sleep all the way till this morning when I wake up at 12noon knowing that I have sleep for 10 hours. Never had such a good sleep for so long. Every night, I tend to dream, which make me didn't have really much sleep. After I was awake, replied all the SMS I had and talked on the phonw with WeiXiang about band thing again before I wake up and bath, brush teeth and had my meal.
Online slightly after 2pm and have been on the net since then. Did much amendments to the Alumni Band website due to typo errors, as well as do some updating work, which I will do it late at night during weekdays. Discussed the website matter as well as the polo t-shirt matter on the phone with WeiXiang again and without realising, I only hang up the phone at around 4.30pm. Gosh, talked to him for about 2 hours plus.
After dinner, I cme back to update this blog as well as send some email to my Alumni Band Committees (ABC), muhahaha. Will have to send an email to members to remind them to come for practices, in case section I/C didn't do the job. Sigh. Drained out.
love goes around | 8:32 PM
Friday, May 19, 2006
Have been days since my last entry here. Was very busy for the past few days, until now then do I have some free time to update my blog.
First of all, thank you Salleh for helping me, or rather the Alumni Band sort out the Oregon scores. I'm so grateful to him. He has been a great help to me as well as the Alumni Band. Thanks alot. Without him, think I'll go crazy handling then band. Hee. With him coming all the way down to NYP Band Room to sort just the scores that is needed for the Alumni Band Practice, make me see how helpful this man is. Really a great committee member.
I'm so glad that "M" and "J" had their friendship bond together again. Really glad seeing that. So happy that they are fine again. And it's me and her now. Ao on Wednesday, I decided to call "M" at night after she knock off her work. But before I could do that, she SMS me saying forget about what has happened on Sunday. Actually, seeing her SMS makes me feel more grateful and relieve than anything. At least I we can talk nicely and solve things.
At night, we talked on the phone and settle things among ourselves as well as others. Though many things have not been settled yet but I really hope that the misunderstanding between the main band and the alumni band can soon been cleared. People from current band, anything that you all unhappy about the Alumni Band or whatever that you want to discuss with us, can always approach us and tell us. We are mroe than willing to help you all, be it solving it or thinking of a solution. Keeping quiet is not the way to do things.
Thursday is my first day of class for my degree course. The first time I've been taught by a western teach. I realise something, that is western teacher's teaching method is really better than local ones. They have more humour as well as they make themselves very clear when they deliver their lectures. It makes me have the perspective that local lecturers teach for the sake of their salary, while western teacher really have a passion in teaching.
Did a photocopy of scores (Hobbits) for the Alumni Band and sorted them out in the bandroom. Sorting out the scores is much moredifficult than what I think it should. Took 1.5 hours to do that. Saw Salleh in the Bandroom which I was rather shocked to. Didn't expect him to come down actually. He help out with sorting the scores as usual and also look for scores that he would want to conduct on Saturday. He found "Selection from Starlight Express" score and went digging each folder for the scores. Actually, after this few days that he offer to help, I really find him quite a nice guy. Only thing is he has a stern face, that's all, but he isn't that stern afterall.
Had a small dispute between the clarinet alumni and Huimin due to the new year one. Her instrument is spoilt and need a new instrument. Then HUimin came to me and said "Please tell the Alumni that instrument priority going to the year one", and I told her to tell them. With much thinking, I said, "ok, I'll help settle it out", coz I'm afraid that their might be big disputes. Luckily enough I was there, if not I think the would have quarrelled.
Alumni members, try not to have any disputes with the main band people. If there isn't enough instrument for usage during main band practice, offer your instrument to the year one as they are current members and we are just alumni. As never go the easy way out. Go as what it should go. When I say use whatever instrument inside the bandroom, I mean use whatever instrument inside the band room. Dont go approach the main band member (even if they are leaving) and ask them to offer you their instrument, as it may turn out to be the other way round at the point of view to people seeing beside. I don't want any unhappiness between main band and alumni band. I don't want people to say my alumni force juniors to give them instrument to use.
Initially wanted to send and SMS to darling asking whether he want to meet me or not, but in the end I beat the thinking. I believe he will say he can't meet me last minute, which is always the case. So as to prevent the disappointement, I rather I don't ask. At least I will feel better. Haha.
Now, guess I will have to go highlight the style of the newspaper today coz tomorrow teacher have to go through it. Haha.
love goes around | 1:13 AM
Monday, May 15, 2006
Was busy doing with the contact list for the Alumni Band today. It wasn't as easy as I think it could be. Tabulating and amending the numbers as well as the alignment can take me a day. Went to ask some guest players to help play for the upcoming concert too. Respond was so far so good.
Had a conversation with "M" yesterday night and it became something that is so big that it seems like we can't talk anymore. I was just stating the fact about everything. And what she feel was all just an insult to her. Well, is stating the fact an insult? If that is, I'll not state the fact next time, and I'll apologise if I really did insulted you. To me, apologising isn't a difficult thing, as long as I'm wrong, I'm more than willing to apologise. I just didn't want things to turn sour just like this. I know you are working and can't commit to the Alumni Band practice, but all I wish for is you to at least attend practice for once or twice in a month, so that I could help say something for you. I believe you didn't want people to say that you are "professional" player, and you didn't want to be a "professional" player too in that sense. All I wish for is to find a solution and solve the problem.
Sometimes, I just hate being at the top position, handling all this craps and problems which arise and arise with no ending. Settled with this, that started. Can I just be a normal member? Sigh. But since I've been appointed that post, I'll have to do it well and keep it going, and try to unite the committee and the band. I know very well that the Alumni Band is united, and they have more discipline. And I do like the committee members of the Alumni Band. I like everything about the Alumni Band, but I don't want any conflict, with anyone, be it alumni band members or current members. All I hope for is to settle things peacefully and in good terms. Nothing could be settled if one party is there always keeping quiet and not telling what is their problem. It's not the time to play the heart game.
I'm so sorry to "J" that due to this matter, her relationship with "M" was foul. I'm really guilty of it. I was thinking that she may have understand her better and talk to her in a way that things could be settled. I'm really sorry. I know you are pissed at that very moment, but please talk nicely to her and solve everything soon. I didn't want to see you and her being enemies due to that small matter between me and her.
Well, tomorrow I'll be going to do up my damage hair. Hope that my hair will see the lights of beuaty again.
Miss you so much darling. With so many problems floating around me, it makes me feel the misses even more. How I wish you are there to help me through and tell me not to worry, you'll be by my side. Miss you so much.
love goes around | 1:58 AM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Yesterday was a busy day for me. Woke up early in the morning at 7.30am to prepare myself for the presentation in school for GP at 9.30am. I'm the first to go, as I told teacher that I need 2 leave first.
As I'm the first person, my teacher (Mr. Sivam) told the whole GP group that i got 20/25 for my presentation. Damn. Everyone know my grade for my presentation. Though teacher say it's very good for my grade, which can help me get distinction for my GP, I still feel that he shouldn't tell the class my grade. Sigh.
After my friends finish their part of presentation, we make a move first. I went to the library to zap the agenda, instrument record sheet and claim form for the committees, before I headed to NYP for lunch and meeting.
Meet with Wei Xiang at Woodlands MRT Station as I'll pass by there and we are meeting for lunch. After we reach school, we realise that McDonald was closed for the day, at 12.30pm. We were shocked that Mac was closed so early. So we headed to North Canteen for lunch instead. We had Black Pepper Chicken Chop for lunch, which I packed 2 pax of the same food for Lewis and Bryan.
After we finish out meals, we headed to Bandroom. I prepare myself for the meeting while Wei Xiang went to the loo. I hate it when I said meeting starts at 1pm, and members come stroolling in at a later time. I didn't really bother those who are very late and started the meeting at 1.15pm, which was already 15 minutes late.
We discuss a lot of matters which hopefully will help the Alumni Band. I personally dislike holding meetings, as I'm not capable of, but it was a great one for me, since it was the first meeting. I still have lots to learn from the people. Let's learn together, our NYP Alumni Band committee members.
3pm practices started. I was still busy sorting out scores for the memebers to sight read. Join in the band straightly after that. Laoshi left at 5pm, while Salleh took the band. It was a funny scene while Salleh is taking the Band. Alumni Band ended at 6pm. Blow out a bit of my temper while I asked what pieces to play for the concert coz no one was listening to me. I was so angry then. Wahaha. But right at the moment, I still quite puzzled what songs to play. But definately, I'll zap Hobbits, Utopia, Challenge to the Heaven & Sky Above for the band first. Hope that New World Symphony will be in by next week.
After band, we (Angelina, Swee Teng, Pei Ling, Karen, Bryan, Darling and me) we to AMK for dinner, at Pizza Hut. After that, we went to Jubilee for arcade (along the way, watched the dance comeptition at the stage near Jubilee). Stayed there for like 1 hr, coz we played DDR and Daytona and darling transfer my O2Jam song to his PSP. Haha. People play arcade games in arcade, we play computer in the arcade. So funny.
After that, we went to Snokerium as Swee Teng and Gang wanted to play pool, and ask us (me and darling) to follow them. Well, we remember that there is another music game there to play, so we agree to go. After the game, we went up to look for them and after deleting the songs that is accidentally added into the library of my Window Media Player, darling proceed on to play with my offline O2Jam. Haha.
We left AMK only at 12mn. By then, I was like a dead fish since I woke up to early that day and slept late that night before. After I reached home, I played a few rounds of O2Jam with Bryan before I turn in.
Woke up at 1pm today and cook some Rostiee to eat. Wahahaha. Yummy. It was nice.
At this moment, I miss someone. Miss this someone so badly that I hope I could see him right in front of me. Hope to see him over the weekend next week again. - My Darling
love goes around | 8:13 PM
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Didn't blog yesterday. Was quite busy with all my paper work on hand.
I was doing up the notice of meeting and agenda for the committee meeting for the alumni band yesterday. I hope I could get the room number that the meeting is held early so that I could send it out together with the motice of meeting, but then I can't coz I need the help of current members to book the room.
Nevertheless, I send out the notice of meeting as well as the agenda without waiting for the room number, coz I believe it's more important to inform them earlier about the time and the content of the meeting rather than waiting for the room number and send out the notice late. I want efficiency. Haha. That's me!!
Other than sending the email to the committee members of the alumni band, I send another email to all alumni members to inform them about the band practice. I hope that most of the alumni could turn up. Sigh, difficult to make them come for practice one. Sigh.
Wake up yesterday morning and I SMS several people if they want to go social drinking today or not. I SMSed Eileen, Li Ping, Elvin, Wei Xiang as well as my darling. Sadly, Li Ping can't make it coz today is her Mother's Day celebration with her mum, then Eileen got to visit his grandma in hospital, so is my darling. So only left Elvin and Catherine. Still, in the end only Cecilia, Jing Feng, Li Teng and me going for the social drinking session at Paulaner. Yes!! Paulaner again. Went there and the waiter and waitress didn't change much. I still remember that guy "Alvin" which I feel was quite cute and nice looking, now became not that attractive anymore. Sad. Sigh.
Drink their home brew (Dark) 0.5 Liter and played some games. Had some sausages too as well as strawberry ...... erm, can't remember what is it call, but it's a cocktail, and it's very nice. Spend about $27 there. Still alright lah. Next social drinking will be at Brewerkz, 2nd June. Haha.
I got myself a water bottle, thought a small one. Haha. Anyway, I only need a small tumbler coz I don't drink much water. I looked for the tumbler for a long time and finally I found it, and in much more nicer colour. I bought the pink colour one. It's Nike Brand. Haha. Cost me $6 though, but still cheaper than what Nike store sells, which is $8+.
Just learned that darling's grandpa's illness has become worsen. From what I know, it only depend on this week already. I really hope his grandpa will pull through. If not, I think darling will once again be in a big blow again, like last year when his grandma pass away. Sometimes, I'll console him, not to worry so much. It's the process of human life. But what more can I do. I can only hope that I could accompany him more. I told myself not to demand so much, not to irritate him so much already. I don't want to give him too much stress and pressure. I just want him to feel better with me around him, and he can tell me whatever thing he want to. I don't want to see him bottling things and sorrows within himself. Darling, please allow me to accompany you more and share with you your problems, sorrows, everything. Don't keep to yourself.
Wake up tomorrow and I'll have to start preparing myself for the presentation on Saturday morning. Although the teacher is very easy to pass through, but I still hope to do a good one. Aim for Distinction. Haha.
love goes around | 1:30 AM
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Came back from my poly friend gathering, or rather a belated birthday treat for one of my poly friend, Jerlyn. Just finish all the emailing matters to all the current band committee members as well as the alumni band committee members. Stress~~ So many things to do suddenly.
This morning, I have lots of SMSes. Can't remember who actually SMS me, but one mian thing is I finally receive an SMS frm MDIS this morning, telling me that my Oral Presentation for my GP will be on this coming Saturday (13th May) at 9:30am. At least it's at 9:30am, coz afternoon I have to go for my Alumni Band.
This morning, darling finally SMSed me. Finally got relieve and really, I've been thinking too much. But who causes that, it's HIM. GGGrrrr. Well, but after seeing his SMS, I'm much at ease than yesterday night. Realised that I'll feel rather happy just to see his SMS, even only one SMS from him. "An SMS a day, makes my sorrows all away". Hee.. Shit, guess I really fallen too deep into this relationship. Sigh.
Mood today was rather good. In the evening, I didn't went to band practice, instead I went for my gathering with my poly friends, like I've mention earlier. We had "Din Tai Feng" at Bishan and I had "Dan Dan Mian" for my dinner. After that, we chat chat awhile in the restaurant before we left for some window shopping. Too a set of neoprint (thanks to Jerlyn coz she paid for the neoprint). Haha. After that, Jerlyn made her move first while LiTeng, Cecilia and Me continue to shop awhile before settling down at Coffee Bean for a drink. JF came down and chat for awhile before we left for home.Decided to go pubbing?? Or rather social drinking on Thursday night at Clarke Quay with them at Brewerkz. Anyone interested, can tag me. Haha. Till then will I be able to comment on whether the drinks there are at a reasonable price.
I'll end here for today. Take care people. Drink more water as weather is not very good nowadays. Heee.....
love goes around | 2:17 AM
Monday, May 08, 2006
Stayed home today again. After I wake up, went for a shower, had my first meal and after that on my laptop and start editing on the NYP Alumni Band's Website. Just finished with the website thingy, now the website is a new and refurnished website.
Half way through the editing, I messaged my darling, telling him that I miss him alot, and even though I might seems not bothered, but I really care. I really love you a lot. He replied my message, without much sweet messages but something that make me feel so sad, coz over the weekend he will be deployed, only will be allowed to book out next week or coming Sunday. Poor darling, and poor me, gotta miss him for the week already.
I know why I have been so down without him messaging me or stuff like that. Reason being, I love him more and more, and the more I love him, the more I'll miss him. And due to that, I will start to feel a bit neglected and lonely, without his presence. Now, I have to make myself occupied in order not to think of him so much.
Yesterday was the Alumni Band practice in the morning. Not many people came for the practice though, but we did practice on a few songs. Last half an hour, laoshi asked Salleh to conduct the band, coz he is the assistant conductor. Well, I quite like Salleh's conducting skills. He will play for one section and stop the band to correct whichever section, to what he feel it should like and tell the player/section what he expect that part to be. Cool. Looking forward to see more of his conducting.
Committee Members for the Alumni Band has been set, and soon I will have to arrange a meeting for the Committee Members to discuss about our band as well as the upcoming Sinfonia concert. For the latest information on the Alumni Band Committee Member List, you may go to http://www.geocities.com/nyp_alumniband/committee_member_list.html
After that, we (XiuHui, Sheila, Bryan, Karen, Zi Sheng and me) went for lunch at Takashimaya "Pepper Lunch". I accidentally spill off Bryan's Pepsi (coz I take wrongly), then I have to offer Bryan with my cup of Pepsi. In the end I have to drink plain water. Sigh. After that, we walked to Dohby Ghaut for Arcade and the COG @ Istana(Chang of Guard). Darling left early. Sad. Think he is annoyed and irritated by me. Sorry darling if I really did irritate you.
After watching COG, Sheila went home, left Xuihui, Karen and me shopping at Dohby Ghaut. After shopping for a while, we went into Action City, and after that went into the neo print machines to pose there for quite a long time.
After that, decided to take one neo print. We pose and took 8 different sets. After that, designed a while and it was printed out. Quite cool and nice though. Hee. Shortly after, Xiuhui went home and I accompany Karen to Mos for her dinner. After having dinner, we headed home.
I was shocked that my brother and his girlfriend tag on my blog's tagboad. Haha. After that, I went to read his blog and tears started to roll in my eyes. Shit man. His blog is so sentimental, make me feel like crying. If you all happen to see his blog, I believe you will also have watery eyes.
Like what I have blogged in the past on my MSN Space about my parents and my grandpa, he said about my dad and my mum. I did realise that my dad has grown old and have lose weight too. I am in a very difficult situation, coz I want to study more and have a better job to give them a better living but at the same time didn't want to use their money. But I don't have the money to study. I feel like I'm a blood sucker. Sigh. All I hope now is to have a my degree as soon as possible and get a stable job so that my parent will not be so hard in life anymore.
I guess I will have to look for a better paid job soon so that I can save for my trip to US for my 1 month on-campus accadamic for next year. I really don't want to spend so much of their money anymore.
As for my boyfriend, he has his own money, and he can buy his own things. I'll stop buying things for him, coz he never buy things for me. It's not that I'm petty but I really have to think of myself. I had already spent to much on him, and I think right at this moment, it should be enough.
Had summarize about our relationship for the past 5 months as I didn't write my love diary for 5 months. Stummarize it and it ended up to be 9 pages (A5 Size). Though most of the things that I've written are good memories, but receint not so good memories also was log into the diary.
I really love him, but right now, i have no idea how much he love me. I know he is worried about his grandpa's condition as his grandpa is admitted into hospital again. But what about his girlfriend. I have already be very understanding , and I have no idea how long more I can torlerate with his don't care don't bother attitude. Darling, can you please show more concern for your girlfriend, and at least let me know that you care. If not, I'm really afraid that I'll be in the cause of depression very soon.
love goes around | 8:16 PM
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Just came back from the voting session at Evergreen Sec Sch, just opposite the street. Haha. Well, I voted the one that I initially wanted to vote. Sigh, not exictement at all. Wahaha.
Later will be heading to my grandpa's house, after such a long time that I didn't went due to alumni band practice. Gota go pray my grandma already, long long didn't send her regards, think she sure complaining up there. Hee, sorry "ma ma", I'm very busy this few weekends with my Alumni Band thingy, so didn't go to grandpa house, forgive me k??
Thinking whether I should shift to my grandpa's house to stay for this few years when I'm studying at MDIS. But hear like there is a lot of conflict and problem with the house there, as in the building there is to refurnish and grandpa have to shift house, and many people is trying to fight over the house. Sigh. I just want to find a place which is near and convenient to my school, that all. I not at all interested with the house, you all want, you all may take.
Tomorrow will be Alumni Band Practice again. Finally, after 1 week that I didn't go for the practice, I'm able to go for practice again. But sad to say, I can't go for 2 practices for Alumni Band coz I have to study, lessons from 2pm to 5.30 pm, every day from Monday to Saturday. Sad leh.
Gota settle everything by tomorrow, meeting time, date and venue. Instrument matters, as well as other micelleneous thingy. But tomorrow, Geraldine will be going for Alumni Band practice, so happy. Haha. And thanks William for going for the Alumni Band practice too, coz the Bandroom key is with him. Haha. Thanks, I'll keep my promise. No idea if Pei Yi and Thomas will go for Alumni Band practice or not, if they are going, then good. Really need people from main band to help out in Alumni Band. Hee. Anyone willing to?
love goes around | 5:42 PM
Friday, May 05, 2006
Been staying home for the whole of today. In the afternoon, was playing O2Jam online myself, and I accumulated gems, now left a few hundreds to my goal of getting my long skirt. Hee.
Finished up my GP Presentation slides just now, and I realise I did a lot of slides. Hmm, guess I have to make my slides fewer, if not I sure exceed the time for my personal oral presentation, which I still don't know when it's held. Sigh.
Other than that, I am doing some admin thingy for the alumni band again. Sigh. Committee Members List are soon to be out. Hope that Sunday's practice, there will be fairly enough people for the practice.
Just discussed with Hui Min about instrument matters, and systems have been changed again. This week will be the last week that the alumni members can use their assigned instrument. From next week onwards, Alumni Members are to use whatever instrument left in the storeroom coz the newbie wants to borrow instrument home for practice. So, now the system gota be more strict already. All alumnis who are using the school instrument, have to write down the instrument number they use, sign in and out. And I need the section I/C to help me keep a lookout of this.
As concert is drawing near, laoshi even put on his MSN nick, that members have to be regular for practices. If member's attendance is not 85%, then he said they can forget about joining for the concert. Serious man!! So alumnis, if you happen to read this blog, do go for alumni practices k. I really need musicians for the concerts. Please don't put me in difficult position.
Thanks Wei Xiang for volunteering to help me furnish the NYP Alumni Band's Website. I desperately need someone who is more IT savvy to do the job, that me which is an IT idiot. Wahaha.
It's weekend again. This week passed super fast, at least for me. Next week will have another holiday. I hope I can go overseas. Even Malaysia would be fine. Whaha. Seeing my brother and his girlfriend and friends go Malaysia and enjoy, felt so envy man. My friend ask me to go with them the week after, but I can't coz my lesson start already, some more there is band practice. Sad.
Tomorrow is the Election Day for Singapore. I got the chance to elect too. It's the first time I get to elect, therefore feel rather excited. I have no idea who I want to vote for. My area under Sembawang, and now we have the choice to vote for PAP or SDP. I know for sure SDP won't win the post, but still who should I vote. Hmmm, thinking and thinking. It's confidential. Haha. Won't tell anyone of coz. it's my own choice, whether I vote for PAP or SDP. haha.
Sunday will be Alumni Band practice again. Haha. I hope that everything will go by smoothly.
love goes around | 10:56 PM
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Today was my so called last day of work at my present working place. Got my May's pay slip thought as my boss don't know when she will see me again. After dealing with all the things, like the money matters, key matters and some other stuffs in the shop, my boss as me to pick something from the shop, as my farewell gift. So sweet of my boss right? Actually, they all are very good people, I quit just because the place is really too far from my house, and travelling really took too much of my time, somemore I might be moving to my grandpa house to stay when my school starts.
Finally, I picked a cheap pouch, which I wanted to buy previously to put all my cosmetic stuff. Got it now, and my cosmetics have a bag for them already. Didn't pick expensive stuff, coz I didn't know what I want at the very point of time.
Went to NYP after that taking the Bus 72. Wah~ It took me to 1hr 30 mins to reach YCK. Damn long journey loh (due to the jam along AMK/YCK). Luckily I brought my laptop along to do my project powerpoint slide, and I get to watch my Joe Chang variety show on bus along the journey. If not, I'll sure die of boredom. Haha.
When I reach bandroom, it's already 9pm, which only left half an hour to go before band ends. As a junior played my Bass Clarinet (and I'm delighted that there is a junior playing that instrument), I gota play Alto Clarinet (coz no more Bb Clarinet). But so sad, no score for all the songs for Alto Clarinet. In the end, I didn't even play any piece (full song), and I can keep the instrument.
After that, we (as in clarinetist & William + Eileen) went for supper at S11. First time going for supper with the younger ones. Quite fun getting along with them too. They are all fun people to get along with. It seems like they doesn't have much worries and always so happy-go-lucky type of people. Envy the time when I was at their age. Also like them , crazy people and enjoying my life (no stress, no worries).
Juniors of the Clarinet Section, don't bully Pei Yi Gor Gor k?? Must co-ordinate and help Pei Yi Gor Gor, he very stress with all his project as well as arranging things with you all. Be nice to him, he is a very good SL. Oh yah, and don't be so talkative during band practice. Want to talk, can but whisper. When laoshi talking, listen. Try not to talk too loud during practice, k??
Today's mood, alright. Maybe coz i didn't think too much bah. I should really keep myself occupied so that I will be happier. Well, weekend is coming again and hope that this weekend will be a wonderful one. It's O2Jam time. Bye.
love goes around | 1:58 AM
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
It's an entry about my feelings today. No idea why I wanted to enter down my feelings now, but I just feel like typing it all out.
No one to turn to say all my unhappiness out, and also didn't want to "disturb" people with my nonsense, so I just keep it all in - myself.
Didn't know why I havethis sudden feel of sadness. I can't explain it too. I should be happy, with all the programmes that I had today, but exactly opposite, I'm feeling rather down.
I don't know whether is it that I'm having PMS (which I seldom do), or I have lack of care and concern. I admit that after several relationships, especially my last few ones, I can't live properly without being under someone's care. I can be very independent at times, but I realise that I can't when it comes to relationship.
I don't understand, really don't. Am I really angry and irritated with him that is so insensitive? Or am I feeling that I'm neglected by him? Guess I'm falling too deep in love with him already, resulting me feeling so wierd and strange without his presence, without his SMS. Why must I be so deeply in love with this guy. Why can't I live my life without this guy? How can I continue my life without him by my side? What will happen when I go overseas for my on-campus studies for 3 weeks?
Can someone teach me how not to miss him so much?? The more I miss, and the more I didn't get any news or SMS from him, the more I'll get myself feeling more and more unhappy. How?? How?? I want to be happy. I don't want my feelings to affect him. And I also want him to be happy too, although I know he is now.
love goes around | 1:31 AM
Woke up at 12.30pm today coz I slept at 3.30am the night before (playing O2Jam). After my shower, I made myself pancakes to eat (with cheese), plus half and egg. Not very nice thought, compared to the previous time I make my Fluffy Mushroom Omelette.
After having my so called "Brunch", I proceeded on to do the online Voting Form for the Alumni Band's Committee Election. Screwing my nuts for several hours and in the end I gave up in doing the for using script, so I used the form field selection from Geocities. Finally finishe with the form which is like about 5.15pm, and I chop chop save it and leave my house before checking if the form has any error.
Leave home at 5.30pm to meet up with Xiu Hui for our KTV session. By the time I reach Orchard (coz I need to go find Karen to get the voucher & VIP Card), Xiu Hui is still doing Manicure, and didn't pick up her phone. I nearly boom her mobile with missed calls. Only when I reach where Karen is working did she return my call.
Walk over to Party World @ Orchard and I reached at 7pm, where Xiu say she will reach at 7pm, but she was late. So I waited for her to come. We only manage to go in and sing at 7.30pm, half an hour late. Sigh.
After singing, we went home together, where Xiu alighted at Novena, and we procceded on with our journey. Reached home at 12mn sharp. After I had my shower, I on my laptop and check the Election Form URL, and realise that the fields cannot be entered. Panick (coz I have already send out the email asking alumnis to vote), I amend the whole page and send the alumnis a new email apologising as well as asking them to go and try filling the form up again. I'm so sorry for my negligence.
love goes around | 1:16 AM
Monday, May 01, 2006
It's my last day of my 6 days full shift work. Hurray!!! Finally I can rest and sleep longer. Initially planned to watch Joe Cheng's variety show before I sleep, but look at the time now, sigh.. think I should forget about it.
Well, was rather bored in the shop today. I did a major clean up for the shop as well as reshuffle of product display, coz many products sold out already. Nearing evening time, I can tolerate any longer, so I started to SMS my darling, with an anger tone in my SMS, saying:"you got your games don't need me liao le lo?? Don't even have an SMS from you to show some concern one leh.."
Well, to my amazed, he replied almost instantaneously with this:"no lah.. you working today??"
With that, I really feel very irritated. Didn't he know that I was working full shift for the past 6 days? Even normal friends like Lewis, Karen, Jun Hong know that I am working full shift for 6 days till 1st May, but him. Then I replied:"hump.. wo bu li ni le.. hump!!!"
What he replied was just a""don't like that lah.."
I didn't reply his SMS after that. Actually I am not that angry after all, just that I'm not happy with the insensitive him. I'm just not happy with the way he SMS me.
Shortly after, I went to buy dinner for myself. Back at my shop and after I finish up my food, I had my fruit. While eating my piece of fruit, I saw him walking into the shop (was kinda shocked, actually). I continued with my irritated attitude and asked how he know that I'm working. He said just trying his luck, walk past see if I'm there or not. Gave him a look that I'm not happy, and all he said was,"don't be like that lah". After awhile of talking, which he did most of them, he left, without saying bye to me.. =( He just say he meed to leave and went off.
At the moment, I was both angry and sad. Why he like that. Don't even know how to coax people one leh. I always thought he improved alot, and gave him higher and higher marks as a boyfriend, but now..... think his marks have been deducted, a lot. I am so angry, and irritated. Why did I have a boyfriend like that one. I can tell you, he spend his time with his games more than me. He will rather stay home play games than come out meet me, I can bet with you. He once said, army guys will cherish their book out time and stay home, especially cherish being home. Fine, I understand that coz he is unable to book out everyday. But at least send some regards to me mah. An SMS or a phone call so difficult meh?? Why must I always be the one to SMS him?? Why must I be the one to ask him if he miss me or not?? Why can't he one day just SMS me to tell me he love me?? I never ever hear him say he love me before, never ever see his SMS with the word Love you before. Sad... Sad... Sad... =(
Humans are always like this. When ever they get something, they will never cherish it, when they have the chance to. Only when they lose it, and can't get it back then they know what is cherish, and staying there at the spot and regret not cherishing it. What for?? When there is a time for you to cherish something, cherish it when you can, why must you leave it to chance to cherish it and when the chance is not there, you blame yourself for not cherishing and hope that time will turn around. No point, really no point.
Life has to move on, I have to move on. Just heard that my GP Oral Presentation is on 9th May, but not confirm yet coz I have yet to receive any email from my co-ordinator. And also just learn the news that my course co-ordinator has quit her job. How can she quit her job before I lodge my complain letter to her?? Sigh. I just finish wirting the letter today. Anyway, I hope that my new course co-ordinator will be much much more efficient than Shanta.
After complaining and getting out my anger and frustration, it's time for me to sleep. Goodnight people.
love goes around | 2:32 AM
