I Think I'm In Love With You

Monday, December 08, 2008

Had a steamboat dinner with my uni friends on Saturday night at Bugis, and chat our way while eating. They are my room mates during my stay in USA (the Room 310 December Babes).

It's a pure coincidence that we are all born in December, just that we are born on a different date and year, but all are Sagittarian. Maybe that explains why we click together so well and we understand each other so well.

Anyway, we were talking about love, and relationship all night long as all of us have some problems in relationship matters. Which actually makes me think about, what does the word "love" actually means?

I understand that many people have talk and blog about this topic and it's nothing fresh for me to blog about too. But exactly how many people understand and is able to explain what "love" actually is? I think very few, or I should say no one will be able to. The word "love" may look just like a simple four letter word that couples always put in their mouth. Just like me, I can say I Love You, but do I understand what does it really mean? I don't think so.

Many people may say finding someone who love you is always better than you loving someone else. But does this really imply to everyone? To me, I don't think so. Does finding someone who loves me a lot makes me happy? What about other instances which may applies like my feeling for the person, whether I do love him as much as he do? Whether do our background match each other's?

Many people also say that love is without boundaries, but I myself don't think so too. Maybe it's my upbringing by my parents which caused me to think this way, but I find that boudaries is a matter in love. Say for instance, someone from another country (laid back, village, low in standard) and does not have much educational background (having only professional certificate, talk in dialect, don't know about english, etc), then does boundaries love still imply? I think many people will still look a lot into the person's background, be it cultural or educational, their capability, and all. At least the person you are with must be in-par with you (same standard, cultural difference not too great, educational difference not too great, and communication level with each other, friends and family must be comfortable) so that you will nto find reaching the standard of his too difficult, or even reach the standard of your's too tiring.

People may always say after breaking up "I still do love you", but how much do the person love you still? How can you be confident that you will not hurt ther person that you have hurt before again? how can you make sure that he is really the person, the perfect person for you? Maybe after moving on, looking around the people around you make you miss the times you were with the previous person you are with, but how much you love the person to be able to provide him/her with love that make him/her feel that he/she is the most fortunate person in the world.

Out of a sudden, I am very negetive towards the word "LOVE". I am trying to refrain from love, and anyone chasing me. Maybe because I don't want to hurt anyone good guys anymore, and I do not have anymore confidence that I can be a great girlfriend anymore.

love goes around | 1:19 AM