I Think I'm In Love With You

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Had my first exam after I came back from America. My first paper is "Management of Personal Lifestyle". Seriously, I thought it will be a difficult paper as it's all about wellness, nutritions, cardiovascular diseases and human body, but to my ease, the paper is easy.

All of us took about an hour to complete the paper and I belive I should have answered at least 80% of the questions correct. Emailed Ms. Binkley my assignment as she asked us to just email it to her and not submit the hard copy as she wants to practice "green", so before I sleep last night, I emailed her the assignment that I've done on "Comparison of Cigarette Smoking between Singapore and America".

After exam, I felt quote bored and didn't know where to go, what to do. So while I was walking towards the MRT station, I called my buddy (which I have not contacted for quite some time) and was so sad that he picked up my call not knowing who I am. Tears started running down my cheeks. From a very happy and joyful tone talking to him, I sounded very disappointed and sad. Didn't know that we have drift further and further away from each other. This is the second time I felt this pain in my heart from my buddy. The first time is during my birthday, which he forgot all about it and only called me to say Happy Birthday to me the next day. Now he sees my mobile number, and he don't even recognise it. It really hurts me deep.

I thought we are as close as brothers and sisters? I thought we understand each other till the core? I thought we can rely on each other when needed? But now, everything seems like such a stranger to me. I no longer feel that I understand you as much as I do before, and I no long think you understand me as much as before anymore. You no longer care about this younger buddy of yours anymore. Don't tell me you cherish me anymore. Don't tell me you lose Marianti and doesn't want to lose me. Don't tell me all this as I really don't know if I should believe or not.

Till today, I still conclude that I don't have that much friends. Have been calling and asking people out today and well, none of them are free. Saddening right? Yes, a bit. I thought I have a great circle of friends, but now I realise that I'm really lonely, and lonely in the sense that I really don't have anymore true close friends.

Years ago, I kept thinking having a buddy, a close friend will be sufficient because he/she will be by your side when you needed them to be. But now, or rather, today I realise my idea of having one true close friend is wrong.

I know no matter how you treat me and no matter how upset and disappointed I am to you, I'll still care for you and be there for you when you needed me to, because I truly thinks and feels that I should be giving to all my friends, especially you because you are the only person I regard as 'true' and the only person I think I will keep till the end no matter what happens.

Well, enough of all this complaining and venting. Just finished my Exam Part A of my assignment. Tomorrow will be continuing my Post-Assignment for my Environmental Science module, which deadline is coming Saturday. Think will not take long to complete it (hopefully) as I have done half of it already.

So now, it's time to sleep so that I can do a better assignment tomorrow after I wake up and after the exam, I'll be freed for the time being and go for my last module and that's it. No more asisgnment, no exams. I can do other things that I wanted to (i.e. work part time to earn more money? learn dancing?)

I'm so excited and hope that August will arrived like tomorrow so that everything will be over by then. -PRAY-

Haha. Alright, I'm starting to utter nonsense already. Turn in. Lights off.

love goes around | 2:27 AM