I Think I'm In Love With You

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Recently, I realise that there's something wrong with my heart, as in not medical issue, but the other issue. I believe you are intelligent enough, you'll understand what I'm referring to.

Read one of my friend's blog recently and realise she is facing some similar problems as me. Maybe is due to our busy schedule that makes us feel so lost and no one to rely on. Am I the one affecting her?? Or it's we are both affecting each other.

Well, sometimes the feeling portion in life really will make someone go crazy. When you had too much to it, you'll expect more, when you don't have it, you will want more. Is this what human will always face?? Whenever you have something, you take that something for granted, and whenever you lost that something, you start to regret it, and when you start to regret it, you will hope to get it back, when you know it's too late to say you want it back because everything are just so different now.

People say I see that person too much recently that's why I will tend to have more feelings for that person than before. But first of all, I only see that person once a week or even less. Nothing much was doen between us, just like normal friends. Someone called me almost everyday to talk on the phone but I just don't have the feeling, the chemistry with him, but this person whom I see only about once a week, or rather lesser, I have more chemistry. I really have no idea what is overwhelming me. Is the loneliness I had recently?? Or am I really a person who cannot stay alone too long.

I hope I can change my way of living, as in my philosophy which says I must be in a relationship all the while, I cannot stay single for too long. It's not right you see. It's not right to just jump into a relationship because I cannot stand the singlehood I am having now. It's not fair for the guy, it's not fair for me, it's not fair for the realtionship. But I know very well I need someone to rely on now, and I really hope this special someone will appear soon.

Kinda thinking of this person now. Wondering whether if this person is thinking of me too.

Well well, enough of all this relationship and chemistry thingy. Back to life!!

Had the alumni practice again yesterday and the attendance is saddening. I had it when I see so little people coming for practice. This is also one of the reason why I didn't want to resume the practice so soon coz I don't want to face the low attendance of the band. Before band resume, people always ask me when will it resume, but when it resume, I face such low attendance. I wanted to help the band to concerts and all but the attendance is just so horrendous which makes me don't have the feeling to continue with what I have planned. I really really want to step down. not that I'm trying to avoid the attendance thingy and all but am just too tired to be holding so much responsibility with me.

At work, am holding the responsibility to help company generate more sales leads and make sure that the sales person make calls and all those marketing stuff. At home doing my part time job, responsible for the target that I need to his for my home-based data entry. At band, I am responsible to the attendance and instrument and scores of the band. Luckily my school haven't start, if not I'll be responsible for my school work again.

One person holding so much jobs and responsibility, am I the one to be blamed for acting "pro" or acting like a "superwoman"? I wanted to earn more money, that's for sure. I want everything to be done well, that's for sure too. But then am I able to do all of them well, that I don't know.

So many things and so many worries generating in my small little brain, and my brain capacity is running up. I need to recharge it and clean it so that I can store more things in it.

Love is Blind, Love is Cruel, Love is for No Reason, Love is just simply Love, because it Comes and Goes, just like the Tide from the Ocean, Cherish it when it Comes, as far as possible, and Let it Go when it's time to.

love goes around | 5:24 PM