I Think I'm In Love With You

Saturday, January 27, 2007

"Love someone doesn't mean you need to own that person, but to see that person happy."

How true will that mean? I know very well this quote long time ago, since my secondary school times. Back in my secondary school days, I can put that quote into use, I can don't own that person if that person is happy, and still be very happy with my own life, but now I realise I can never be like before, so giving to this type of things.

Although I'm still quite innocent in this type of things, but I can no longer be so giving and generous in this.

How many people nowadays can really love a person and yet don't get the person and still be happy? I still thinks that when you love a person, you will go for it, and do all you can to make that person likes you too. You will do whatever you can to make the person have feelings for you.

Well maybe I didn't do that before, therefore love always can't transmit to the other person.

Frankly, I'm quite slow in feeling love and feeling anyone who has feeling for me. I can't feel the love people have for me. It's always the case. Only when people say and then I'll realise it, if not I'll not realise it. I'll only treat that person as friends who treat me well. Maybe gradually, my feeling for this type of things is getting stronger, but didn't want to admit it as I'm really really afraid of getting hurt yet again.

I have no idea why my love for someone are always not felt by them. I admit I'm a conservative person, whom doesn't like kissing and hugging in public as I always have this mentality that doing all those things in public is like showing off and stuff like that. Recently, I just opened up and change the philosophy I had always kept well, thinking it will show more love to that person, but well I was wrong, it didn't.

Sometimes, I have no idea how a person can feel love from the other person. Analyzing people around me, and the strangers while I was boarding public transport, how many really hug and kiss in the public, seldom. Some don't talk to each other. Some of the girlfriend is like super fierce, and the guy still love them. Etc. Many more which I think you can reflect on what you see everyday.

Sometimes it just come to my mind," how to let the other party know your love for him/her?" How can love be felt? More kissing? More hugging? More talking on the phones/ talking to each other? More sms? More romantic moments? More moments alone together? Or what? How can love be felt by the other party? How you feel the love from the other person.

For people who know me, you know me, that is I don't really do some initimacy things with my boyfriend in front of friends and all. Alright, I'm quite shy in all these things and normally I don't initiate, but well I'm a female, can't possibly ask me to initiate all the time ya? If I could initiate a few times, the other party can laugh already.

I can be lovely to my guy in anyway (not physically that is), and I can be a romantic person too (sometimes extremely romantic, that is if I really love that person a lot). Someone guys just doesn't have the luck to feel my love that way but hey, I really can be quite a person who needs protection from my man. Always enjoys myself when someone dote on me a lot (from young till now, no one really dote on me other than my grandparents). I rely on my other party a lot too, and I really do if I fall so deeply in love.

Well, the deeper you fall in love, the more difficult it is to get out of it and the more difficult you can be alone after you get out of it. I have a few good friends who are willing to be there for me but well, I will get away from their help, running away from their help to pull me up yet again. Didn't want to affect them, didn't want them to see me cry for another guy again (don't think they see me cry for guys before ba).

Sometimes it's really quite painful when you really fall so deeply in love with that person and that person just can't feel your love, or you can't be with that person and can only see that person as a friend, a normal friend. Therefore, I always told myself not to fall so deeply in love for a person, in order not to get such a painful fall when everything ends. Till now, I have 4 painful fall, and this one is the most painful one. Well, many will be quite puzzled about what I'm talking about, but ya, I'm not that decent as you think la, I had many relationship before and all didn't end quite well. Hate being hurt but am hurt all the while. Crazy me. Like I enjoy being hurt, but who enjoys? Just that once I'm in love, I'll love the person deeply, if not I'll not fall for the person. Maybe that's the reason why I always have a bad fall after that. Who ask me to fall in love so easily? Sigh.

"Love someone doesn't mean you need to own that person, but to see that person happy."

How true is this phrase? How true will this quote be? How many will be able to do this? I have no idea. You tell me.

love goes around | 5:41 PM