Friday, October 13, 2006
Recently I had this fear to sleep, even though I'm tired. I have experienced very scary moments while I was sleep, or should I say when I was about to wake up.
It's not the first time that I had this bad experience. Is the red light of my health been lighted up?? i really hope it not and it's only my subconcious that is play trick on me.
Have been on for quite some time, just before I was about to wake up (I suppose), I had this difficulties in breathing. I felt like there is something choked up my throat, preventing oxygen from getting into my lungs. I forced myself to breath everytime, but it's really difficult. At times, I wish I could open my eyes and jump up to gasp for the air I needed but I could do so. The feeling is like someone is strangling you and you feel you will die any moment in time. Thinking back, my hair stands and still have the fear with me.
What has happen to me?? I didn't want to tell my parents about this as I didn't want them to worry about me. I didn't want to tell my friends as well as I didn't want they to worry too. I can't tell anyone, not even Moo (coz I believe he won't have any reaction to that).
I'm scared, but I can't turn to anyone. What if I die just like that?? I know I'll regret about many things that I haven't fulfilled. My dreams, my goal, and so on. I didn't want to jist go like that. That's why I had not been sleeping well this few nights, asI really fear I'll just go like this in sleep.
love goes around | 2:36 PM