Having mood swing again?? I don't think so. I've went through a very deep thinking process and run into deep thoughts about my current situation. I'm trying to get myself busy, and stop myself from thinking about anything that will make me unhappy, but then whenever I stop my busy life, my mood just swing.

This morning, i was thinking should I ask for a seperation with Moo for a while to simmer everything and let each other have ample time to think through what we actually want and what we actually go for? Are our goals the same? Are we the one for each other? I really wanted to tell him this but I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm feeling very tight up inside me, I really need some release. I want to release myself and yet I didn't want to hurt Moo, and didn't want to lose him either. I know people reading this will think that I'm stupid, I'm silly, and contradicting, but I can't help it. I really have no idea what I should do.

Seperation doesn't mean I don't love him. But I'm just too tired to hold on to this relationship that have no progression. I hate hurting people, and I hate this situation. I always wanted a sweet sweet love, a simple love, which we could love each other simply and don't bother how others look at us, but why can't mine be what I expect? I never have a wonderful love (excluding honeymoon period) and I always put my 100% for the one I love, but why???? Why am I always been treated this way?? Can't I get better treatment from the one I love??

I'm starting to give up hope on relationship, give up hope in the 4 letter word 'LOVE'. What is love? I can never be able to define it, until I am able to find the real real one for me. When will I find one then? I have no idea. I'm closing up my door, I'm not allowing anymore people to enter my garden which I have protected for years. I love him, but I have no choice. Someone please enlighten me and help me.

Trisa a.k.a. SaSa
15th December 1984
Sagittarian
Full-Time Marcomm Manager
Part-Time MDIS B.S. Student
Innotec Solutions Pte Ltd
B.S. of Arts in Mass Comm - OCU



Entering the Media Industry
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