I Think I'm In Love With You

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Many things happened for the past one week or so. Been busy for the whole of last week. This week suprisingly, was rather slack.

Have been working after my exam on 8 July and also been handling some band matters. Had some relationship problems too. I feel that I'm at fault but again at the same time feel that I'm not wrong. I'm in delimma of what I'm doing. I have no idea if I'm a person who only know how to complain and complain, and never do anything to save the relationship and to prevent all the problems. Sigh. I really have no idea how long I can tolerate all this. I have been very stressed up with the Alumni Band's attendance problem, my own relationship problem, money problem, and my driving test problem.

This week, I don't have to go for work as there isn't a lot of projects for me to do, so I was asked to stop work for the time being. Therefore, I have begin to continue with my love diary about me and darling and hopefully soon I'll be able to let my darling know the URL and he can see and read it.

Saying so many about relationship problems and so, but I know for myself that I really love my darling very much, and I know if there is one day that we really ended up breaking, I know I'll be very very sad and down. I believe that I will lost all interest in everything. But sometimes, in ways of anger, I'll start saying things that I didn't want to say, and i shouldn't have said. But all that are just implusive.

Every female needs love, no mater love from parents or love from boyfriend or friends, or ratehr every human needs that. Sometimes, when you can't feel the love, you'll fine yourself very hopeless, and of course helpless. All I need is some notice and some care that's all. I don't demand anything, and I'm not materialistic. All I need is the feeling of being loved. Maybe because at home, I'm always not being loved? I always feel that my parent love my brother more than me, but I understand I shouldn't think this way. Sometimes, I'm forced to think that way.

Anyway, I really hope that my relationship is a relationship that can take all levels of difficulties and continue to fight all barriers together. I'm trying to understand you, darling and putting myself in your shoes, could you understand me more and put yourself in my shoe??

Next week will be a week of nervousness. Why? Coz finally it's my turn to take my practical driving test. I have no idea if i will pass for the first time or not. Don't want to give myself to much hope, telling myself that I'll pass for the first time, but I hope I can pass for the first time as learning driving is really a killer, money sucker. I have lost interest in learning driving already, getting a bit sick of it. *Praying*, please let me pass my practical test, please!!!

next week will also be the start of my next module, Research Methodology. Sigh, lecturer seems to be rather strict, but i hope I'm wrong. First day of the lesson and I'll be late, due to my driving test clashes with my lesson. Shit man.

Tomorrow will be going for my class chalet at Changi (ulu place) haha. Can wait for that day. Although not everyone can be present for the chalet, but I really look forward to see all my poly friends, since I really miss them so much.

And I also hope to see my darling soon too. Have not been seeing him for two week already. Been missing him.

love goes around | 4:29 PM