I Think I'm In Love With You

Monday, May 08, 2006

Stayed home today again. After I wake up, went for a shower, had my first meal and after that on my laptop and start editing on the NYP Alumni Band's Website. Just finished with the website thingy, now the website is a new and refurnished website.

Half way through the editing, I messaged my darling, telling him that I miss him alot, and even though I might seems not bothered, but I really care. I really love you a lot. He replied my message, without much sweet messages but something that make me feel so sad, coz over the weekend he will be deployed, only will be allowed to book out next week or coming Sunday. Poor darling, and poor me, gotta miss him for the week already.

I know why I have been so down without him messaging me or stuff like that. Reason being, I love him more and more, and the more I love him, the more I'll miss him. And due to that, I will start to feel a bit neglected and lonely, without his presence. Now, I have to make myself occupied in order not to think of him so much.

Yesterday was the Alumni Band practice in the morning. Not many people came for the practice though, but we did practice on a few songs. Last half an hour, laoshi asked Salleh to conduct the band, coz he is the assistant conductor. Well, I quite like Salleh's conducting skills. He will play for one section and stop the band to correct whichever section, to what he feel it should like and tell the player/section what he expect that part to be. Cool. Looking forward to see more of his conducting.

Committee Members for the Alumni Band has been set, and soon I will have to arrange a meeting for the Committee Members to discuss about our band as well as the upcoming Sinfonia concert. For the latest information on the Alumni Band Committee Member List, you may go to http://www.geocities.com/nyp_alumniband/committee_member_list.html

After that, we (XiuHui, Sheila, Bryan, Karen, Zi Sheng and me) went for lunch at Takashimaya "Pepper Lunch". I accidentally spill off Bryan's Pepsi (coz I take wrongly), then I have to offer Bryan with my cup of Pepsi. In the end I have to drink plain water. Sigh. After that, we walked to Dohby Ghaut for Arcade and the COG @ Istana(Chang of Guard). Darling left early. Sad. Think he is annoyed and irritated by me. Sorry darling if I really did irritate you.

After watching COG, Sheila went home, left Xuihui, Karen and me shopping at Dohby Ghaut. After shopping for a while, we went into Action City, and after that went into the neo print machines to pose there for quite a long time.

After that, decided to take one neo print. We pose and took 8 different sets. After that, designed a while and it was printed out. Quite cool and nice though. Hee. Shortly after, Xiuhui went home and I accompany Karen to Mos for her dinner. After having dinner, we headed home.

I was shocked that my brother and his girlfriend tag on my blog's tagboad. Haha. After that, I went to read his blog and tears started to roll in my eyes. Shit man. His blog is so sentimental, make me feel like crying. If you all happen to see his blog, I believe you will also have watery eyes.

Like what I have blogged in the past on my MSN Space about my parents and my grandpa, he said about my dad and my mum. I did realise that my dad has grown old and have lose weight too. I am in a very difficult situation, coz I want to study more and have a better job to give them a better living but at the same time didn't want to use their money. But I don't have the money to study. I feel like I'm a blood sucker. Sigh. All I hope now is to have a my degree as soon as possible and get a stable job so that my parent will not be so hard in life anymore.

I guess I will have to look for a better paid job soon so that I can save for my trip to US for my 1 month on-campus accadamic for next year. I really don't want to spend so much of their money anymore.

As for my boyfriend, he has his own money, and he can buy his own things. I'll stop buying things for him, coz he never buy things for me. It's not that I'm petty but I really have to think of myself. I had already spent to much on him, and I think right at this moment, it should be enough.

Had summarize about our relationship for the past 5 months as I didn't write my love diary for 5 months. Stummarize it and it ended up to be 9 pages (A5 Size). Though most of the things that I've written are good memories, but receint not so good memories also was log into the diary.

I really love him, but right now, i have no idea how much he love me. I know he is worried about his grandpa's condition as his grandpa is admitted into hospital again. But what about his girlfriend. I have already be very understanding , and I have no idea how long more I can torlerate with his don't care don't bother attitude. Darling, can you please show more concern for your girlfriend, and at least let me know that you care. If not, I'm really afraid that I'll be in the cause of depression very soon.

love goes around | 8:16 PM